Ok so I'm single again; after almost 2 years in a relationship.
And man, I concluded that relationships suck. They never live up to your expectations and always end in a complete mess; well, at least mine always do.
And I will turn 25 in 2 months and I still have absolutely no clue what the fuck is going on in women's heads and hearts. On the one hand they want you to be ambitious and career orientated, like it when you know what you want from life and work hart to get it; on the other hand they are just losing all their feelings because you never spend time with them??!! without even saying anything until it's too late?! how the fuck is that supposed to work?! ...

Now I'm in this weird phase of trying to kill any feelings left and move on. It's this kind of numb and helpless feeling where you try to hold on to something that doesn't even exist anymore and there's absolutely nothing you could do to get the Status Quo back. You just have to accept it.
The only thing there is left is to let time pass.
Time heals all wounds.

Unfortunately I've been in a relationship pretty much since the very beginning when I first came to the UK and I'm still sharing a flat with my ex (which is like pretty much the most fucked up situation I've ever been in) so I'm not really sure what to do here now... Ah well, on the good side of things I can say that I finally got more time to work on stuff in my spare time...

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I need some changes... some serious changes in my life. Re-locating would be a good start (did I mention that we have estate agents here that come straight from hell?).. getting out of fucking London (yeah bohoo I suppose I'm the only person in the world who thinks this city sucks).
At the moment the plan is to finish Avatar at Framestore and then go away, far away from here. Or maybe just back to Germany for a while, spend some quality time with my family, gain fresh energy and momentum and then explore the world again. Don't know.. I really don't. Everything's kinda murky right now.. :/

ah we'll see.. she's somewhere out there... this one special person... at least I hope so. and if she isn't then fuck it.. there's nothing one can do about it anyways, is there?

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Anyways. hope you folks are alright.
go and watch terminator and transformers. again absolutely top-notch mind-boggling ILM visual effects.
U seen the 2012 trailer by the way? [link] Kicks ass big time as well. Vfx overkill.
This seriously IS a good year for cinema fans.

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