but this time a real damn;

my mom´s in the hospital..
both her kidneys failed.

my sister called me today and told me this.
at the moment the doctors cant prognose what´s gonna happen as they just don´t know. however she´s going to have dialysis from now on forever and ever until her death.

it´s really hard for me lately to keep up with all the things that are going on; it´s just too fast. it´s like living life on the fast lane. everything changes rapidly.

when i was talking to my sister i couldnt even express any kind of emotion. i was just like "aha.. well, that had to happen sooner or later"...
and even now as i´m writing that journal i don´t know what to think about the whole situation.
it´s just too much stuff to get a clear thought out of it right now. both good things and bad things and things which are kind of in the area inbetween..
so i decided to not even try and just move on for now and get all my projects done in time.
anyways, i really hope she´ll get well of course.
cant even imagine how it would be to go back home for a visit and she´s not there. well, we´ll see.. we´ll see....

take care of you guys and appreciate the time you have with your beloved and ppl u like!

thanks for the comments on the last journal btw!
hey david what´s up with that disney thing btw?


cheers,
chris